CHIV LUCKSCOPES MARCH 2019

Written by Chiv Astrologists What’s up bitches, we’re here to see what kind of luck you’ll be getting in this four-leaf-clover-claimed month. Just because McDonald’s says it’s time to “get your luck on” with a Shamrock Shake, does not mean you should feed into one of the biggest monopolies in United States history. (Queue Marxist…

Chiv’s Worst Sex Stories

Written By Champlain’s Most Angsty Art By Alyssa Luongo and Grace Monahan *Uncredited to preserve anonymity* We asked for your worst sex stories, and oh my did we get some… I’m on estradiol, which makes it a lot more difficult to climax. Both I and the girl I was having sex with also have joint…

CHIV LOVESCOPES FOR PALENTINES DAY 2019

Written by Chiv Astrologists What’s up sluts! Let’s all get our love lives in check for this here Valentine’s Day season! Some people call this a commercial and “Hallmark” holiday, but I know you sappy fucks wanna get in with someone. Let’s get one thing straight (or gay, whatever tickles your fancy): stuff is about…

Chivomengro’s 2018 Horoscope Holiday Gift Guide

Written by the Chiv Astrologist Ring ring ring ring ring ring… Can you hear that? It’s the holidays a comin’ down the track straight into Capitalism Town! Aw shit, you have a bunch of gift cards and nothing to spend them on?? Enter Chivomengro’s 2018 Holiday gift guide, each gift carefully selected with love and…