Category: September 2016
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CHIVOMENGRO IS MEDITATING NOW
Welcome back to school everybody. We at Chiv had a particularly transformative summer, and we’re looking forward to, like, sharing that energy with you. Get ready to open your hearts or whatever. As usual, we’re looking forward to serving you a fresh, hot dish of collegiate whatever, even though that…
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The Weird Reverse Race Baiting of Colin Kaepernick
NFL quarterback Colin Kaepernick has become a trending topic in the past couple weeks. Kaepernick–best known for leading the San Francisco 49ers to Super Bowl 47–has been sitting out the National Anthem since the beginning of the preseason. However, it was not until a few weeks in that that Kaepernick’s protest…
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Study Shows Humans Should Consume 6-8 Metric Tons of Water Per Day
A new study conducted by researchers at Johnson & Johnson recently found that the average American Human should be consuming at least six to eight metric tons of water every day (or about 12,000 lbs. for the common man). Head scientist of the study, Theo R.F. Switzickswalzakc, working entirely off…
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Day Drinking is Cool, Okay?
Let it be known that day drinking is not for those of you who’ve got your shit together, or even those of you who want people to think you’ve got your shit together. Day drinking is for those of us who are an absolute mess and know it. I just…
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League of Legends Tryouts: Death of the Trolls
When you think of a subculture, you probably think of a bunch of college-age kids clad in drug rugs drinking Pabst at some backwoods music festival. Or you might think of a group of teenage girls in mom jeans with Kånken backpacks taking selfies at an art gallery. Or, what…
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Writing on the Wall
The sun blasts the red rocks of Sedona, and I feel like I’m on Mars. I’m standing in the lobby of the hotel with jeans and t-shirt hugging my soon-to-be sweaty skin, my backpack weighed down with 3 liters of water. I’m wearing cheap sunglasses. All around me, red rocks…
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Otis on ‘Roids
Every year, the tiny Adirondack mountain village of Elizabethtown, New York comes alive to the sound of jam sessions, electro-funk, indie-folk, and joint-induced coughing. Otis Mountain Get Down is a music festival that draws in crowds from the surrounding area for a weekend of camping, music, mud, and getting sick…
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What It’s Like to Sorta Work at a Music Festival
This summer, I gave out Crispy M&M’s to rockstars. Whoa, that sounded cool. I worked at Pitchfork Music Festival in Chicago, handing out free bags of candy to people all day for three days. Pitchfork Music Festival is in its 11th year, and this summer’s show at Union Park showcased both…
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Like Someone Else’s Body Weight
My aunt and my mother walk in front of me. They’re trailing my luggage and their purses. I am only holding a bag that drapes over my shoulder and my teddy bear that wears a shirt that says “Happy Birthday.” Every time my Mom talks to an authority figure at…
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