Category: Jessica Schultz
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My Emo Farewell Speech (Goodbye Bitches)
Written by Jessica Schultz When I was a first year at Champlain, I idolized my friends who were seniors. They seemed so put-together and cool—they made music, ran Chiv, and seemed like they were never in a rush to do anything. They took me to comedy nights and concerts and…
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Steve Roggenbuck is an Asshole
Written by Jess Schultz TRIGGER WARNING: This article discusses sexual assault and abuse, which may be triggering topics for some. If your mental health could be affected by this topic, please read this at your own discretion. In 2015, during my first month of college, Steve Roggenbuck did a reading…
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The Humble Basement Party
Written by Jessica Schultz Last weekend, I saw a guy cut a line of coke with his Juul and snort it off his iPhone. I almost missed it, because there was a music video from that Dr. Phil girl playing on the television—we are truly living in 2018, folks. And…
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My Granddad is Literally Mater from Cars
In January 2006, my granddad, Buddy Smith, died. He ran a garage in a town so small that the P.O. boxes for all residents are tucked into one corner of the general store. My only solid memory of him was running up to his workshop and asking if I could…
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Satire is a Woman’s Weapon
News flash: women aren’t funny—they’re hilarious. This may come as a shock to some people, so we wanted to highlight a new kick-ass, women-led satire publication. Meet The Belladonna. Helmed by four female editors—Caitlin Kunkel, Brooke Preston, Fiona Taylor, and Carrie Wittmer—The Belladonna accepts submissions from cis and non-cis women,…
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The Best Places To Cry: A Finals Week Review
This past finals week, I hit a writer’s block mere hours before a final was due. In an effort to alleviate that and the stress it caused me, I procrastinated for hours by scouring the campus in search of the best places to stress-cry during finals week. These were the…
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Eat Your Gender, Clean Alien Trash—All In a Day’s Work for Sundae Month
After two years of planning, designing, programming, and writing, Sundae Month—a Vermont-based game design collective—is ready for today’s release of Diaries of a Spaceport Janitor through their publisher tinyBuild. Diaries is an “anti-adventure” game about being a genderqueer janitor on a planet called Xabran’s Rock. As the release date rushed…
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Blockbuster and Ball
Alright, hear me out: we need to bring back Blockbuster. How many times have you sat down with a significant other, a friend, even a Tinder match (this is a safe place, it’s okay to admit it), preparing to watch a movie only to find that Netflix removed it in…
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Aesthetic Facebook
In recent years, Facebook has become overrun with middle-aged women sharing Minion memes about wine and girls nights. They see everything, they comment on everything, and they’re always there with a picture of you from middle school. These people have driven today’s misunderstood millennials to different social media like Instagram,…
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What Your Choice of Champlain Coffee Says About You
IDX Coffee, Paper Cup: We get it–that all-nighter was rough. But at least your Core paper is done. We all make mistakes. You deserve a frikken’ nap. Zime Coffee: Either it’s the start of the semester and you’re bingeing on Flex Points, or you aren’t on campus enough to have spent them all…
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