This past finals week, I hit a writer’s block mere hours before a final was due. In an effort to alleviate that and the stress it caused me, I procrastinated for hours by scouring the campus in search of the best places to stress-cry during finals week. These were the best places I found to have a quiet, private meltdown. Take note for spring semester.
The remnants of the Ski and Ride Rail Jam.
Ahhhh, yes. That one rail in the middle of Finney Quad looks cozy when your assignments are looming over you. A couple inches of snow? No problem for you and the slippers you usually only wear inside. Take a break to cry right here in the middle of the quad, and passersby will think you’re crying because you landed a gnarly snowboard trick. Highly effective hiding, my dude.
Ireland basement’s new cave.
This new, secluded lounge is smack dab in the middle of the Ireland basement and offers frosted glass walls, low-to-the-ground seating, and an air of discomfort every time somebody walks by while you’re inside. There’s even a door that looks exactly like a panel of the wall, so you can truly lock yourself away while making passersby think that the old basement lounge has been replaced with a big box.
Everybody is too scared to go in, so you can be alone while you cry about the Macs in the lab taking 40 minutes to log on.
Under the wheel of a Champlain vehicle.
If it moves, your tuition gets paid, right?
Miller Information Commons—South Staircase.
This little-known gem in the corner of the library features stunning circular windows, stone staircases, and a little barricade on the basement flight that make you think, “Am I allowed to be here?”
It’s dark, it’s lonely, and it’s a long way up to the 3rd floor. So take a quick break and weep about the work waiting for you and the fact that you’re out of breath after a few steps.
The Collaborative Media Hub—CCM 201.
This card-access-only room in the center of CCM is home to a comfortable couch, computers, and glass walls. When you realize that your files from the Ireland basement lab won’t open on the computers here, take a quick break to contemplate dropping out while students walk past and look in. They can see, but they can’t do anything but pound on the glass wall as you curl into a ball on the floor. This is a perfect way to let your friends know that you’re struggling without letting them get too close to you.
I hope my procrastination technique helps you find that new, special place when you return to Champlain in January. Stay stressed, friends.