Category: February 2018
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Polish Superstitions for the College Student
Written by Alexis Boucher Everyone has superstitions that they subscribe to, whether they acknowledge that they work or not. You don’t break mirrors out of fear of bad luck, you don’t walk under ladders, and you don’t tell an actor “Good luck” before a show. Every culture has their…
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Read This Trash
Written by Jordan Upshaw Still salty that Chiv doesn’t accept fiction or poetry? Desperately trying to diversify that portfolio before graduation? Wanna hold a printed copy of your art in your cold, cold hands? Just really like zines? Then Trash is for you. You’ve probably seen it around campus—the Riot…
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Into the Minds of Chiv
Written by Walter Proulx A smartphone is the equivalent of a best friend; if you accidentally drop it in the ocean and you’d feel real bad. Having this electronic rectangle of life is so important. Without my phone I’d be a complete mess, missing most of my classes due to…
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XFL; Football 2: MAGA Boogaloo
Written by Anthony Mahon After years of anticipation, the sports world rejoiced when WWE majority owner Vince McMahon announced the return of the widely acclaimed professional football league XFL. Well, not quite. If anyone remembers the XFL, they’ll recall that it was very far from widely acclaimed. After just one…
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Ave Sex Ed
Written by Haley Clemens I say a prayer for our education, To expose us to curriculum lacking in political discrimination. And for my sister’s sake I plead, Teach us about sex long before we need. Teach us that coercion and bribing and blackmail are not grounds for getting us to…
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Your Horoscopes for the Month
Written by the Chiv Astrologists Aries (March 21- April 19) At the end of March you’ll have so much Aries energy you won’t even know what to do with yourself. Here are some tips— yell a lot! Set your futon on fire! Befriend your middle school bullies! Set them on…
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The Troubling State of the UFC
Written by Anthony Mahon Last week, I read a Deadspin piece by Patrick Wyman titled “Who Cares About The UFC In 2018?” While the title of the article is a kick-in-the-nuts for any fan of the MMA organization, it’s 100% accurate. UFC made steady progress as a cult favorite throughout…
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9 Ways to Eat Like a Queen Even Though You’re a Broke College Student
Written by Jane Adams 1. Get a credit card. So, your interest rate matches your age (OMG, Forever 21% gurl!) but microwavable ramen is just an inedible prop to Instagram in horror (#collegediet) before flushing down the toilet and ordering sushi with your fresh new plastic, right? No mom or…
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The Humble Basement Party
Written by Jessica Schultz Last weekend, I saw a guy cut a line of coke with his Juul and snort it off his iPhone. I almost missed it, because there was a music video from that Dr. Phil girl playing on the television—we are truly living in 2018, folks. And…
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The Night Walker
Written by Olivia Lyons I finish filming a school project with a classmate at her apartment. It’s about 9:30pm, on a well-below-zero December night in Burlington, Vermont. I’ve called two of my friends who had said they could probably bring me home. No answer from one, and an apology from…
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