Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter, Or Why Jesus Christ is the OG Gamer

Written By: Phil McCrackin I watched Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter. Here’s what I thought!  The Story First off, there’s the main plot. The one where Jesus Christ beats up a bunch of big tiddy goth lesbian vampires. And then there’s this weird, out-of-place secondary plot interspersed throughout that is literally just a hobo shouting in…

Why “You” is Television’s Most Important Trash

Written by: Eric Banks Art by: Alyssa Luongo What words would you use to describe your typical romance movie? While many would label this genre as heartwarming, sweet, or romantic, a growing majority has started to call these films problematic. For years, people have been accusing films like Twilight and Fifty Shades of Grey of…

Crop Tops & Hookups

Written by: Sammie Lee Wilhoit Art by: Grace Monahan Having sex before marriage is a sin. When my friend lost her virginity in high school, I thought her parents would find out. I thought having sex meant giving up on academics and all of the responsibilities of life. I was certain she would get pregnant…

I’m Your New Editor—And I have Anxiety

Written by: Gillianne Ross Art by: Grace Monahan My first interaction with Chivomengro was Jess Schultz, a previous Editor in Chief, leaping up from a table at Admitted Students day when she overheard me saying that I wanted to “edit things.” As someone who has passionately detested science and math since the day of my…