Category: Horoscopes
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November Horoscopes
Written by Madeleine Minks Art by Seven Descheneaux Aries: For your future self: you need to calm down. Like, seriously. Calm the fuck down. Take like, three deep breaths. Go outside. Eat something green. Not the leaves, you heathen. Something you’re supposed to eat. God. Taurus: Someone you love is…
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Luck O’ Them Scopes
Written by Sara Mayberry What’s up astrology fiends? Let’s see what the month of March has in store for our good-luck spring break ;) (Happy Pisces season, bitch.) Aries (March 21- April 19) This Pisces season has you feeling extra closeted and confused, not even (exclusively) in a gay way.…
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Tinder-scopes
Written by Sara Mayberry SUP ASTROLOGY WHORES Y’all have been awful clingy since last time – so this month we’re doing what the signs would Tinder message people (as if a Taurus would message first lol) anyhow here goes some sexy pick-up lines and other sly stuff ;) Aries (March…
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Ho Ho Ho-escopes
Written by Sara Mayberry OH HELL YEA It’s WHOREoscope time! Okay, I have a mini-tangent before we begin. Just recently, I came into understanding what a Chiron is. It has to do with a comet/asteroid that passes at your precise time of birth and was originally associated with a…
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