Luck O’ Them Scopes

Written by Sara Mayberry

What’s up astrology fiends?

Let’s see what the month of March has in store for our good-luck spring break ;) 

(Happy Pisces season, bitch.)

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Aries

(March 21- April 19)

This Pisces season has you feeling extra closeted and confused, not even (exclusively) in a gay way. Get out of your shell, mingle, go to a party, get drunk. Your luck is running low, my dear Aries. Look for a reason to leave the house that excludes your job, okay?

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Taurus

(April 20 – May 20)

As the sign domiciled within the planet Venus, you’re feeling extra gushy, Taurus. In conjunction with luck found in the love realm of astrology, take this time to make some money moves and get laid. (Or find something wholesome like a relationship I don’t fucking know.) Time is of the essence, my dear.

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Gemini

(May 21 – June 20)

Gemini, you’re sad. You’re feeling down on this supposed luck, and you’re kind of looking for somewhere to make your next big move. Whether it be related to love, work, school, or anything in-between. Stay where you are right now, take some time for self-care, and focus on your favorite YouTube videos or just cuddling your cat.

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Cancer

(June 21 – July 22)

Cancer, you’re feeling so loved! The world is just giving you one big hug. The month of March will be pretty nice to you, just make sure to give as much love as you’re receiving.

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Leo

(July 23 – August 22)

Leo, March is bringing you the joy of mental clarity. Your once extremely stressful period is coming to an end, and this will be a time of relaxation. Take this time. You most certainly deserve it. Also just a little reminder: you’re not required to be everyone’s entertainment monkey.

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Virgo

(August 23 – September 22)

Virgo, you’re feeling awful charismatic recently. You’re also combining the waters of being wildly flirty and also feeling as if you owe the world to everyone. Let’s cool our tits, Virgo —but also flirting is still fun. Find a good middle ground.

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Libra

(September 23 – October 22)

Libra, you’re feeling extra indecisive this month. Also quite in love. The two do not really relate, however, you’ve got some decisions to make. Clear that noggin of yours and stop being over-empathetic. Go yell at a stranger. You’ll feel better.

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Scorpio

(October 23 – November 21)

Scorpio, you’re feeling like an intellectual. Channel this and use it to its fullest advantage. Hop on the intellectual train and help out these bullshit politicians in this fun thing we call the 2020 election. (Go Bernie though u know.)

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Sagittarius

(November 22 – December 21)

Sagittarius, you’re actually committed to one set of feelings at the moment. Confused by your own affections, your brain is overloaded with all of this romanticism. Shoot your shot, Sagittarius. The fire sign in you is ready for …..(sex). 

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Capricorn

(December 22 – January 19)

It’s time to get shit done, Capricorn. Take this spring break to feel some kind of sense of productivity—not the kind intrinsically instilled in Americans as a byproduct of capitalism, but more so finding a hobby, and succeeding at it. You deserve to feel your own self-worth, and lord knows that comes from productiveness for you, lil earth sign. (Your luck lies in your hobbies!)

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Aquarius

(January 20 – February 19)

Be open to the flow of new ideas, creativity, and the art of giving a fuck about others. While it’s easy to be complacent within going with the flow, your luck will find itself buried in the interests of others. Keep your eyes peeled and heart open, Aquarius.

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Pisces

(February 20 – March 20)

Ah, yes, Pisces season indeed. The true era of tears, love, and all things dreamy. Your luck in this Pisces season finds itself in self-worth, and general upwards confidence within self-image. Shoutout to you for being hot and knowing it, pisces.