Category: October 2016
-
God Goes to Denny’s, Too
There’s a beautiful, greasy allure to restaurants open past midnight that cater to college kids and drunks; most nights, like this night, they were one and the same. I was on my way to Denny’s at 3 AM, fresh off a box of wine that claimed my sobriety, in the…
-
A Bite of Lemon
I’m going to try and describe a facet of the way I think. It’s in my head. As you read, you may think; he’s making it up. Yes, I am making it up. It’s a creation of my mind. There’s no way for me to prove to you—or to me—that…
-
Bon Iver’s 22, A Million: Review
After a five-year hiatus since their last album—the Grammy-winning, self-titled Bon Iver—the Wisconsin-based “indie folk” band has returned for an album that is a departure in form, but a triumphant return, in impressionistic songwriting. 22, A Million features otherworldly production and synthesizers that may be off-putting to listeners expecting an…
-
Supermodel Diet: College Student Edition
Lucky for us, we live in a world where being beautiful, for some, is a full-time job. But since “Torturing Myself into the Shape and Look Society has Chosen” doesn’t quite roll off the tongue as a job title, we went with Supermodel. And for some reason I thought it…
-
You’re About to Fall in Love with ‘Joe Splosion’
Joe Splosion is the cinematic experience you never knew you needed. Ranging from 25-45 minutes per episode, this three-part YouTube series comically depicts the thrilling adventures of an overweight action hero constantly tormented by the shenanigans of his nemesis: the evil gay dads. Joe Splosion has everything the easily stimulated…
-
Tied to a Pole
Louisiana heat beat down on us as we struggled to get free. The jump rope dug into our flesh, making escape virtually impossible. Our pleas for help rang out in vain—everyone else had queued up and gone inside, leaving us to wither away into oblivion. Eight years later, my school…
-
Ace At Life
We talk about sex a lot. By we, I mean humans. We joke about people’s sex lives and the proportions of dicks. The word “fuck”—arguably the most popular swear word in the English language—originally meant “to have sex.” Candidates for president of the United States engaged in a heated discussion…
-
The Weeknd
It’s been over a year since the release of The Weeknd’s last album, Beauty Behind the Madness. The record proved to be a massive success—spawning the hits “Often,” “The Hills,” and “Can’t Feel My Face.” With BBTM being Abel’s first number one album, people have been clamoring for more content ever since.…
-
FUCKING SPACE
It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s a phallic space shuttle headed to Mars! The technology to travel to another planet already exists—woah—and is being implemented into spacecraft, without the general public’s knowledge. Like, fuck. This isn’t the only awesome thing that scientists decided not to tell the world about. There…
-
The Pursuit for Happiness
I am not at peace. This was a line from the letter Scott Mescudi—aka Kid Cudi, platinum selling rapper—wrote to his ten million Facebook fans. I feel like shit, I feel so ashamed. I’m sorry. Kid Cudi was relating to his depression and suicidal urges, directing his comments intimately…
You must be logged in to post a comment.