Category: October 2017
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On Mr.Clean
Fuck Mr. Clean; I cannot fucking stand the sexual machination that is Mr. Clean, yet I love him. I envy him. Never before had I seen, let alone confabulated, even, the mere concept of an absolutely suave and sexy cleaning-brand mascot until I laid my eyes on that white-jeans-clad, silver-tongued…
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Why Aren’t We More Anxious About Anxiety?
Saying “Everybody has anxiety” is a strange way to say that we don’t want to talk about it. I was taken aback last week when I met with an official to talk about my career goals and possible internships and they told me, “You seem nervous, which is something you…
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Home
This summer was my first away from home. I stayed on campus as an RA. That being my only commitment, I would make plans to travel back home a few times a month, due to feelings of homesickness. The trip from Burlington, Vermont to Bloomfield, New York is quite long…
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The Truth Comes Out: Giraffes Are A Hoax
Written by: Adelaide Malvey Accepting that the world is not as fantastic and magical as children want to believe is an important part of growing up. At some point in your life, your parents probably sat you down and told you that the tooth fairy isn’t real. Everyone has…
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A Guide to Self-Love and Boxed Mac and Cheese
Acceptance truly is the first step. If you’ve reached the point in the day/week/month where you’re opening that flimsy cardboard box of rattling dried noodles, you know you’ve already had a rough time. So set the water to boil and stop beating yourself up. If you can’t think anything nice,…
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Damage from Hurricane Harvey Destroys Everything in Path, Including Self
On Thursday, October 5th, a story about the devastating, unnatural disaster Hurricane Harvey that swept through Hollywood was released from The New York Times. Sources say that many homes were destroyed without their consent. In the past few weeks, over 34 of the homes have claimed damages from Hurricane Harvey,…
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Women Crushing the Music Scene in 2017
After a soul-sucking 2016, 2017 has proven positive in regards to music. From Cardi’s come-up to Kesha’s comeback, women have dominated the charts and twittersphere as they have shown fans and critics alike what the music is all about. CARDI B From the notorious “a hoe never gets cold” vine…
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Cultural Ignorance Turned Dividends
My hands are parallel to the countertop, visibly shaking and unable to reach for the wooden pair of chopsticks underneath them. I turn my head toward my boyfriend. “I can’t eat this Jack. It’s too much for us. What are we gonna do?” He’s at a loss for words, mouth…
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Getting Schwanked On A Sunday
The story starts at Three Needs. A popular bar among college students. It’s a beautiful Sunday afternoon, and the crowd is celebrating the last few hours of it with cold pints of beer. I meet a friend at the bar and we each get a pint. We thought it might…
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Turtles All the Way Down, Thumbs All the Way Up
John Green has not indulged his fans with a new novel since October of 2012. In fact, Green himself feared The Fault in Our Stars would be his last book. To explain why this may have been the case, all one must do is read his latest book. Turtles All…
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