Category: Essay
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Nicaraguan Wake Up Call
“You’re not saving anyone’s life by being here.” This comment came to us from the leader of the organization Champlain had collaborated with to make the trip possible. Although I had good intentions going into the trip, it was nice to hear the blunt reality that addresses a misconception with…
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Opening With Common Thief
When Dillon and I met, I only listened to a certain type of music. I was confined to the slow stuff. Every other kind of music was too heavy for my small ears. I was uncomfortable. I distinguished myself as being sensitive to sound, and I still claimed that…
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Senior College Student is Overcome by Angst and Reverts into Middle School Scene Kid.
Upon returning to school from her blissful Florida vacation, a college senior was so overcome by angst, she reverted into a middle school scene kid. According to her roommate, the Business major who now insists on being called xxScarsRunDeepxx was so overwhelmed by impending adulthood that when she returned from…
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Graveyard Shift Feels a Little Too Literal
It was 10 PM and felt like it was ninety degrees in the atrium I called my office this summer. After seven hours of doing nothing but listening to Best Coast and checking emails, I finally got to lock up my desk and head home. Flipping the sign over to read…
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// A r t H o e Evolution //
The art hoe is mysterious, modest, and completely self-aware. She goes to museums so she can take pictures of herself next to art. She spends most of her time building her perfect aesthetic. The life of an art hoe is not complicated or even interesting, but that’s the opposite of…
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Feeling Fucked: Post Grad Life
Someone asked me the other day what it felt like to have only four more years on my parent’s health insurance plan. “Well, you know it’s going to happen, I guess.” I said. My mouth opened, and I answered, but my heart had already dropped into my stomach. I’m about to…
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An Important PSA About Hooking Up
Okay. This is how I’m going to start this off. Champlain is fucking small. It is tiny. Microscopic, even. There are 608 individuals in the senior class and 426 of them are males. Is that creepy of me to have taken the time and found that number? Maybe. Who cares?…
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Why You Should Give a Shit About Our Literary Magazine
Willard and Maple is publishing it’s 20th edition at the end of 2016, and I’m afraid no one will see it. Willard and Maple is Champlain College’s student run and edited literary magazine. Accepting submissions from all over campus, the country, and the globe, it is and always has been a…
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Females Catching on to “Man Bun” Trend
Across America, even here at Champlain College, women are beginning to experiment with Man Buns. As of recent, girls throughout the nation have been growing their hair out and balling it all up at the top of their head in almost the exact same way as their male counterparts. In some…
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Your Rape Jokes Aren’t Funny (No, Really)
Ryan is a friend of mine. He’s allergic to peanuts. If someone offers him homemade food, he asks them if it has peanuts in it. (Given the fact that he’s alive, I highly doubt that anyone has lied.) If he goes out to eat, he makes sure that the fries…
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