Category: Teagan Cook
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Graveyard Shift Feels a Little Too Literal

It was 10 PM and felt like it was ninety degrees in the atrium I called my office this summer. After seven hours of doing nothing but listening to Best Coast and checking emails, I finally got to lock up my desk and head home. Flipping the sign over to read…
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Your Rape Jokes Aren’t Funny (No, Really)

Ryan is a friend of mine. He’s allergic to peanuts. If someone offers him homemade food, he asks them if it has peanuts in it. (Given the fact that he’s alive, I highly doubt that anyone has lied.) If he goes out to eat, he makes sure that the fries…
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On the Plight of the Basic Bitch

I recently left the Stone Age. A few weeks ago, I got a real, honest-to-goodness smartphone, and after dropping nearly three hundred dollars on the thing, I figured I might as well drop another twenty and get an Otter Box for it. My friends told me they were good for…
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Vagina, Vagina, Vagina

You walk into an audition late and you’ve got director staring right at you, making the executive decision whether or not you get to follow your passion. It’s tense. I don’t do tense well. Instead of politely introducing myself when all those eyes turn to me, I grin and plop down in the…

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