Upon returning to school from her blissful Florida vacation, a college senior was so overcome by angst, she reverted into a middle school scene kid. According to her roommate, the Business major who now insists on being called xxScarsRunDeepxx was so overwhelmed by impending adulthood that when she returned from spring she buried herself in Myspace. The regression progressed from there.

“She used to seem so put together,” xxScarsRunDeepxx’s aggrieved roommate sobs, “now all she does is take unironic mirror selfies as she withers away from her ‘cool’ vegan diet.”

Instead of planning for her future by applying for jobs and internships or preparing to move back in with her parents, xxScarsRunDeepxx instead spends her days listening to Blood On the Dance Floor, Black Veil Brides and Pierce the Veil while posting incessantly in her variety of Livejournal communities.

“Maybe I can work at Hot Topic,” xxScarsRunDeepxx muses, “you know, get away from all these poseurs.”