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Category: Beluga Whale Lover #241

Why Champlain College’s Problematic Mascot (That has Ties to Satanism) Must Change

Written by: Beluga Whale Lover #241 Beavers are cute, I won’t deny that. Science is science. Beavers are cute. You want to know what isn’t cute? A bipedal beaver with soulless eyes that look like they’re trying to drain the life from all children in its vicinity like a blackhole. Chauncey the Beaver isn’t fucking…

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Champlain College is Violating the Geneva Convention by Not Allowing Beluga Whales as Therapy Dogs

Written By: Beluga Whale Lover #241 Art By: Izzy Dickey   Picture this, the year is year, you’re in your pajamas in your Champlain College™ dorm, listening to Despacito 2, Shrek 5 and watching that time traveling Amish show that just came out, you’re licking your ketchup ice-cream, and over in the corner of the…

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Operating out of Champlain College since 2012, Chivomengro is a nonfiction semi-literary entity devoted to sex and angst.

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