CHIVOMENGRO

CHIVOMENGRO — COLLEGIATE WHATEVER

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Category: Beluga Whale Lover #241

Why Champlain College’s Problematic Mascot (That has Ties to Satanism) Must Change

Written by: Beluga Whale Lover #241 Beavers are cute, I won’t deny that. Science is science. Beavers are cute. You want to know what isn’t cute? A bipedal beaver with soulless eyes that look like they’re trying to drain the life from all children in its vicinity like a blackhole. Chauncey the Beaver isn’t fucking…

Champlain College is Violating the Geneva Convention by Not Allowing Beluga Whales as Therapy Dogs

Written By: Beluga Whale Lover #241 Art By: Izzy Dickey Picture this, the year is year, you’re in your pajamas in your Champlain College™ dorm, listening to Despacito 2, Shrek 5 and watching that time traveling Amish show that just came out, you’re licking your ketchup ice-cream, and over in the corner of the…

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Operating out of Champlain College since 2012, Chivomengro is a nonfiction semi-literary entity devoted to sex and angst.

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"After a few brain explosions and deep introspections whilst staring at my battered shoes, I made it to the bathroom and peered into the mirror. As I looked into the mirror, I speculated that there was a whole new dimension on the other side. A face, a world, trapped just inches away. I considered breaking the glass, but that would lead to a non existence with this linear form."⁠ ⁠ this writer loves acid like chiv loves doing whatever tf we want. eat ur heart out. 🍴💉 link in bio. art by izzy dickey.

"It took me a minute to understand what was happening. I stared at the screen, unable to move or say anything, in complete shock. I was too scared to do anything. Once I shook myself out of the shock, I began crying, and begging my mom to turn the tv off. I thought I had replaced Dora, and that she no longer existed, since I had essentially taken over her body."⁠ ⁠ raise ur hand if u also have a traumatic cartoon childhood experience. link in bio. art by grace monahan.

"We all do weird-ass, crazy shit as teenagers, and I was no exception. Middle school in rural Vermont is like a blackhole of anxiety and hormones you cannot escape. City kids can lead a double life if so desired, but not in my hometown—you’re stuck. So, we have to find other ways to keep life interesting."⁠ ⁠ body mods? hells yes. just don't do them urselves. be safe kids. link in bio. art by grace monahan

"McDonald Hall also has a self-proclaimed 'Catholic Whore' who always wears a cross around his neck, even when he has to condense his list of kinks to three items."⁠ ⁠ dankus bankus who? meme mcdonald is showing everyone up w their dedication to The Holy Stain. link in bio. art by izzy dickey.

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