Written By: Anonymous
Art By: Izzy Dickey
I must preface this article by making it very clear to the reader that I love psychedelics. They are immensely therapeutic and beautiful substances. I have connected with humans and animals in a way I did not think possible. It has made me perceive music production in such a spiritual way that I cannot create in any other way than to cast spells and to build a world from the ground up. Psychedelics are truly beautiful teachers.
Everyone remembers their first trip. Mine was freshman year of college. I took 3.5g of magic mushrooms with my best friend at the time in an abandoned house his parents were flipping to sell. As I came up, getting higher and higher, the walls waved in a gentle accordance to my breath. Great warmth filled my body as I was overcome with this feeling of the universe embracing me. All of my previous anxieties regarding the trip were swept away as sounds took palpable forms, convulsing and wiggling beautifully around the folds of the room. Once I came up and the wiggles and waves became the new normal, I decided it was time to explore this new world.
After a few brain explosions and deep introspections whilst staring at my battered shoes, I made it to the bathroom and peered into the mirror. As I looked into the mirror, I speculated that there was a whole new dimension on the other side. A face, a world, trapped just inches away. I considered breaking the glass, but that would lead to a non existence with this linear form. I realized we were not all so different after all. When my friend arrived, I was having a full blown conversation with the mirror, laughing and playing with the symmetry of this other world (I was very impressed with my reflections ability to mimic my movements so fluidly). I saw my friend age rapidly in front of my eyes, and I loved them all the same. I saw that my time was but a blip on this Earth and I ought to make a difference. I realized that money was a construct used to control and to empower the ego. I realized that “I” was nothing more than an idea and that I in fact did not exist. I realized so many things that before were mere abstractions just out of grasp; to know something is much different than to know and to feel something. I have felt the weight of 1000 lives, envisioned mindscapes beyond explanation, spoken with galactic councils, overcome countless fears that have manifested themselves throughout my life, and yet all of these “revelations” were mere embodiments of the emotions behind these “epiphanies,” so to speak. I felt more than I learned, and whilst learning a great deal in the process, I realized something very important: Psychedelics won’t teach you anything you don’t already know. They might change your perspective, but all of that knowledge is already packed somewhere in your magnificent cranium. Sometimes though, flipping the dome can reveal a new angle to seeing things.
Prior to my first mushroom experience, someone brought up synchronicities and it completely pǝddılɟ my perception of reality. Everywhere I went, I saw these correlations and patterns: people finishing sentences in different conversations and other odd coincidences. At the time I was heavily under the impression that this was, in fact, a deity-esque mushroom entity enlightening me prior to my trip. Upon reflection, I think I just flipped the dome and tapped into the very real synchronicities that are occuring at all given times. We humans are very similar. We are patternistic animals. Despite your preferences on food or the firmness of your mattress, we all eat, breathe, shit, eat bagels, and die (in no particular or correct order). Now this may sound nihilistic, but rather consider it a simplification of our otherwise complex lives.
Preferences are manifestations of very similar wants and needs. That whole week leading up to that trip I learned something that has stuck with me to this day. Patterns are everywhere. Everything is everywhere. Perception of reality is based on mentality, not actuality. There is no objective truth. You see what you believe. This is both motivating and disparaging. In some regards, nothing matters. We live, we love, and we die. This is a very real reality, but you don’t have to invest your headspace into that avenue. It’s just as true as the contrary. We are a wild collaboration of aspirations and love and fear and we are composed of stars. Everything does possess beauty. Both real realities, your choice. Psychedelics brought me from one place to another. In the moments of transport, I thought I was moving away from myself, only to realize I always possessed both sides of myself. In fact, I am capable of any side. The mind is an amorphous tool that we often take for granted.
These magical experiences “taught” me so much love and acceptance, but those two attributes were already nestled in my mind, obscured by fear and insecurity. There’s no utility in holding grudges to those who are simply trying their best. I see so much judgement, so much negativity, and I can only approach it with love. Behind every action is a motive, and often times those insults are yearnings for love in disguise. Everyone wants a hug and a smile, and sometimes when you don’t get enough affection, you lose sight of the light that is always there. We act brash and we accuse because we are scared we have lost touch with the essence of love; that we are not good enough. Everyone is good enough in one way or another. There is no cookie cutter blueprint as to how to live. The question is simple: are you happy? That’s what it’s all about. How you answer that question is completely up to you. We don’t give ourselves enough credit; we’ve got the chops to do what is right for ourselves, all you’ve got to do is let go and realize that you are capable of far more than you could ever know.
Trip, don’t trip, it’s all the same. “Flipping the dome,” so to speak, isn’t limited towards the total dissolvement of the ego or having the walls turn to spiders. It’s about a new perspective, and I’ve come to find that the greatest trip of them all is, in fact, the wild and unpredictable world of sobriety.