Written by Sara Mayberry
Okay, it’s November. We’re getting really close to sad (person) hours, and the sun seems to hide away quite quickly. Separately, I feel as if it’s important to mention that the first key in identifying your own sad is how much Bon Iver you’ve listened to in the span of a week. Libra astrologers have a lot of feelings. I wanted to mimic this fun lil doodad I found on Instagram posted by the astrology app Co-Star, so here goes….
The Signs When They’re Sad!
(March 21- April 19)
Impulsively pierces three parts of their face in a week then gets bangs so people know they’re ‘going through it’.
(April 20 – May 20)
Gains three new hobbies in a month and weeps when they’re alone.
(May 21 – June 20)
Can’t fathom being sad when they’re the hottest person in the room.
(June 21 – July 22)
Fills ten different journals in three weeks with all of their feelings from their breakup .
(July 23 – August 22)
Buys far too much nicotine or shoes.
(August 23 – September 22)
Moves to a cabin in the woods to write poems on the porch and tells no one.
(September 23 – October 22)
Cried because their partner didn’t give them attention for 30 seconds.
(October 23 – November 21)
Isolates themselves for approximately two weeks and only leaving to get wine and fancy brie cheese.
(November 22 – December 21)
Pretends they’re not mad then goes on a sudden trip across the country listening to Amy Winehouse the whole time.
(December 22 – January 19)
Feelings? I haven’t heard that name in years.
(January 20 – February 19)
Writes an anthology of poems about their feelings then realizes they don’t give a fuck halfway through.
(February 20 – March 20)
Still crying over that dead squirrel they saw on the highway 3 hours before.