NOVEMBER DEPRESS-OSCOPES, CUZ I GOT DEPRESSION

Written by Sara Mayberry

Okay, it’s November. We’re getting really close to sad (person) hours, and the sun seems to hide away quite quickly. Separately, I feel as if it’s important to mention that the first key in identifying your own sad is how much Bon Iver you’ve listened to in the span of a week. Libra astrologers have a lot of feelings. I wanted to mimic this fun lil doodad I found on Instagram posted by the astrology app Co-Star, so here goes…. 

 

The Signs When They’re Sad!

FullSizeRender 13.jpg

Aries

(March 21- April 19)

Impulsively pierces three parts of their face in a week then gets bangs so people know they’re ‘going through it’.

fullsizerender-71.jpg

Taurus

(April 20 – May 20)

 Gains three new hobbies in a month and weeps when they’re alone.

FullSizeRender 21.jpg

Gemini

(May 21 – June 20)

Can’t fathom being sad when they’re the hottest person in the room. 

FullSizeRender 10.jpg

Cancer

(June 21 – July 22)

Fills ten different journals in three weeks with all of their feelings from their breakup .

FullSizeRender 9.jpg

Leo

(July 23 – August 22)

Buys far too much nicotine or shoes.

FullSizeRender 20.jpg

Virgo

(August 23 – September 22)

Moves to a cabin in the woods to write poems on the porch and tells no one.

FullSizeRender 22.jpg

Libra

(September 23 – October 22)

Cried because their partner didn’t give them attention for 30 seconds.

FullSizeRender 24.jpg

Scorpio

(October 23 – November 21)

Isolates themselves for approximately two weeks and only leaving to get wine and fancy brie cheese.

FullSizeRender 11.jpg

Sagittarius

(November 22 – December 21)

Pretends they’re not mad then goes on a sudden trip across the country listening to Amy Winehouse the whole time.

FullSizeRender 23.jpg

Capricorn

(December 22 – January 19)

Feelings? I haven’t heard that name in years.

fullsizerender-6.jpg

Aquarius

(January 20 – February 19)

Writes an anthology of poems about their feelings then realizes they don’t give a fuck halfway through.

FullSizeRender 8.jpg

Pisces

(February 20 – March 20)

Still crying over that dead squirrel they saw on the highway 3 hours before.