"NEWS" / April/May 2017 / Kerry Cunningham

Trump Plays ‘Odds Are’, Destroys the Country

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With the recent decisions that have been coming out of the White House—like the travel ban and the MOAB bombing—America and other countries have begun to wonder why and how these decisions keep coming to completion.

The White House finally came clean and stated that every decision made in the Oval Office is determined by a game known to most as Odds Are.

“The game involves one person who dares another to do something,” White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer stated. The person being dared chooses a number, and if both the “darer” and the “daree” guess the same number, the person has to do the dare.

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“I don’t know why,” Spicer said, “but President Trump always chooses between one and two, rather than one and fifty or something. And he always chooses two.”

When asked about his process, Trump shouted, “First’s the worst. Second’s the best. Always the best. I’m the best.”

White House Chief Strategist Steve Bannon has finally figured out Trump’s method.

“The other day,” Bannon said, “I called up Donald and said, ‘Odds are you’ll destroy the country.’ He said one out of two. We both said two, and he dropped a huge freaking bomb on Afghanistan.” Bannon laughed. “I guess I should be more clear on the country next time.”

Next week, Bannon plans on mentioning North Korea when they play the game again.

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