ESSAYS

Written by Madeleine Minks  Art by Seven Descheneaux  Aries: For your future self: you need to calm down. Like, seriously. Calm the fuck down. Take like, three deep breaths. Go outside. Eat something green. Not the leaves, you heathen. Something you’re supposed to eat. God. Taurus: Someone you love is going to absolutely destroy you… Read more

Written by Abriella Guertin  Art by Lillian Anderson  Disclaimer because my editors made me: These are my opinions. If you don’t like them, close the tab. I’m just words on a screen. Don’t send me an email saying you disagree. I don’t care.  INs: Bold lip, no mascara Hiking boots  Dinner parties   Sending letters (&… Read more

Written by Ella Quinlan  Art by Lillian Anderson  My mother’s taste in men is comparable to the palette of a 12 year old boy who awakened their anger by playing Call of Duty: childish, entitled, and at times, downright strange. Let my father be example A. She met him, a man more than twice her… Read more

Written by Madeleine Minks  Art by Greta Scheff  Throughout all three years of middle school, I had the same locker. Everyone had the same locker, and as a result, all of my locker buddies remained the same. This was unfortunate in one regard: the boy whose locker was above mine, who, for the purpose of… Read more

Written by Audrey Orenstein  Art by Greta Scheff  As a general rule, I try not to form any hard opinions on media until I feel fully qualified to do so. While I’ve gotten pretty good at guessing what I may or may not like, I never know for sure and don’t pretend to. However, this… Read more

Written by Randolph Trow  Art by Lucas Eglin  Of the top 10 most sold UFC pay-per-views, 8 of them featured a Conor McGregor Main Event. After all, he’s easily the most popular Mixed Martial Artist in the entire history of the sport, as well as being present in the top five for most popular combat… Read more