Category: Brooke Durkan
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Braces Freshly Off, Fall Out Boy Held High
May 6, 2003. I was (probably) eating mud in my backyard, seven years old and utterly unaware that this would be the most formative day of my life. According to Google, there was a literal tornado in Southern Illinois—a tornado I have renamed The Tornado of Emo, raging through suburbia…
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Taylor Swift Murders Small Living Creatures
During a recent vacation to Hawaii, paparazzi discovered that pop princess Taylor Swift slaps at mosquitos that land on her perfect porcelain skin. “This is absolutely disgusting,” said FOX News in a broadcast. “For somebody who is such a champion of shaking things off, we were horrified to discover that…
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