"NEWS" / February 2017 / Jessy Moyer

Proof Climate Change is Real

creditcard-13

Club Penguin is shutting down. God, that was hard to say. I’ve been trying to find the exact words to use for weeks, but I think that just about does it.

Since 2010, our Earth’s average temperature has gone up by 400%. Wind is only a product of the fire-breathing dragon down the corridor. That’s why each breeze is 95 degrees, causing sixth degree burns to the surface of our scales. Since we live underwater now, George W. Bush is our President, and Verizon is run by a bunch of babies, we really have to be prepared for what’s next. But now?

Club Penguin is shutting down.ClubPenguin.jpg

Club Penguin is shutting down.

Club Penguin is shutting down.

We could’ve never been prepared.

People say the more you face your fears, the less afraid of them you will be. That’s a freaking myth. How dare you. No matter how many times I say it, another penguin is getting killed. The virtual ice caps are melting, and I haven’t heard ONE WORD about it from our so-called “government” or our so-called “Leonardo DiCaprio.” If you have a snowmobile, now’s not the time to use it. We need to march like the penguins once did.

I’ve contacted Pikabye81 and RockinOut2. We’re all pissed. Haven’t heard a word from Koolkatt22, but she was always a witch.

And for any of you who are going to call this fake news, you’re a product of your environment. Your surroundings shape who you are and who you will become. Surround yourself with people that reflect who you want to be and how you want to feel. Koolkatt22? Dropped.

Now, I know about all of you religious folk who don’t believe in climate change. But I’m a Judaic Slavic Neopagan Atheist Christian who dabbles in Wicca myself, and I can assure you, this sh******* is real.

If you’re a supporter of stopping climate change and saving the penguins, CLICK HERE.

Credit –
Featured image: Etsy

Advertisements