No One Gives a Fuck About Ebola

Since December 2013 the Ebola virus has been spreading around West Africa. And for the past nine months -during which thousands of black West Africans have died- no one really gave a fuck. Until some poor unfortunate (white) foreign aid worker came back to the United States with the virus. Leading to the spread of enough panic and misinformation to have Fox News jumping for joy. Here’s the truth about some of the most common (and hysterically ridiculous) bullshit the media has been throwing around:

1) THE EBOLA VIRUS IS AIRBORNE

This is painfully untrue. The Ebola virus can only be spread through direct contact (through broken skin on a mucus membrane) with blood or other bodily fluid of an infected person.

It is not airborne.

It is not waterborne.

And it can’t be transferred simply from touching an infected person, so please stop purchasing gas masks and bubble suits (unless of course you a doomsday prepper, then by all means please continue).

2) IMMIGRANT CHILDREN ARE GOING TO INFECT US ALL

Thank Indiana congressman Todd Rokita for this ridiculous inaccuracy. Recently Todd told a local radio station that immigrant children from Latin America pose a threat to the health of the general public, implying they may be carrying Ebola. And people believed him. However no one from Central America has ever contracted Ebola, making his claim completely bogus and unfounded.

3) EBOLA CAN BE CURED WITH CONDENSED MILK

It’s not certain who started this hilariously absurd rumor, but Nestle would like to thank you.  Condensed milk is not going to cure anyone from Ebola, (but if it helps you sleep at night that by all means, continue to throw money at Nestle CEO Paul Bulcke, who rakes in about 10 million a year).

There is currently no cure for Ebola however there is an experimental drug called Zmapp. American patients agreed to take (be guinea pigs for) this drug. Researchers are currently unsure if it has any affect on the patients. But all of that is too late for West Africa.