Category: Noah Waltzer
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How to Use Your Cell Phone in Class and Not Be a Fucking Pleb About It
1. Know your teacher. This step cannot be stressed enough. Is your teacher a hawk-eyed dictator who rules their class with an iron fist? If so, you should probably wait to text or at least excuse yourself if you can. Is your teacher a kindly old person with bad eyesight? Get to…
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How to Make a Pepperoni Pizza
Ingredients: 1 teaspoon active dry yeast, 4 cups all-purpose flour, 1 teaspoon kosher salt, ⅓ cup olive oil, 12 oz fresh mozzarella, 1 cup pepperoni pieces, ½-¾ homemade pizza sauce Directions: For the pizza dough, sprinkle dry yeast over 1½ cups of warm-not lukewarm- water. In a mixer with a…
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The True Nature of Underwear
“Dude, underwear is just so, like, oppressive. I don’t want that kind of shit.” Semi-dreads broke the pristine silence, shaking his friends out of their trances with his seemingly random sentiment. Small smiles crept onto their faces as they started to comprehend and reflect on what semi-dreads had said. They…
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