Written by Ares Young

Art by Nick Marucci

Getting Sexual With Chivomengro: What Does Sex Look Like for YOU?

Dear reader, October is on all sides, and deep within each of us. The air has a chill, the spirits of haunted creatures are out on the prowl, and the warmer clothes are coming out of their dusty trappings for the thick of fall. What way to warm you up than with the body of another? This month, I am here to give you some sexual advice, guidance, and wisdom. The stars have spoken, friends, and they want you to get laid.

ARIES, The Ram

My dear Aries, my explosive fiery lover. You courageous thing. You need to break the mold this month. You have been stuck in a rut, putting your energy into places that do not satisfy you. You need something wild, something as ferocious as you, something to curb that heat that burns within you. This month, look for something painful, something exhilarating. Try something with teeth this month. Your partners are on the hunt with you, willing to go the distance, and you must push yourself as well. Sex does not have to be a conquest, but my dear Aries, what is life to you if not a battle to be won? Make that special someone scream this month.

TAURUS, The Bull

The secure Taurus. The most stubborn of the Earth triplets. You, my friend, have quite the month ahead of you! I’ve looked into my crystal ball and I see that this month is going to be a lot. I see car crashes followed by whirlwinds of wildness, change and an overwhelming boatload of sensations galore. And for this reason, take minimal adventures on the sexual frontier. Vanilla is your best friend. Relaxing, unwinding, simple sex is what will aid you best this month, Taurus. Missionary is not a crime, it’s nice to look at your partner’s beautiful face.

GEMINI, The Twins

The Gemini, the curious sign. Your adventurous spirit will bring you great fortune by way of experience! You need to try something new, You will go mad if any encounter even slightly resembles the last. You need to try new things with new people! Find someone with your adventurous spirit and go wild together, leave marks. Ever tried wax? This is your time! Take a stroll down to your local shops and pursue the isles, buy something you’ve never tried before. This month is yours to take by the twin hands of your dual nature and drive them in all directions. Travel unseen paths, find earth shattering orgasms.

CANCER, The Crab

Darling Cancers. The tender hearted crab, hidden inside that hard shell. You are a sexual anomaly, and one that I find so fascinating. You need some emotional intimacy in bed, and I am here to relay that same message. This month, you need sex to become a transcendent emotional experience. You and your partner must merge as one emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Your partner should become so in tune with you that every sensitive touch  to their body is felt tenfold within yours. Sex should feel like ketamine therapy this month, psyche opening and binding with your lover. Soul merging is your go to this October.

LEO, The Lion

Oh Leo. You prideful bitch. You have spent this time grooming your metaphorical mane and sharpening those talons, but this October, they are not for using. You need a sexual humbling this month. You need to experiment with a submissive attitude and gain some experience with grovelling. It’s sexy when you really try. ego death needs to be brought into your life this month, and what better way than with a partner that smiles while humiliating you. Get ready to kneel, Leo, remember to put a pillow under your knees.

VIRGO, The Maiden

My sweet, sweet, terrifying virgo. The virgin. Though, I’m sure that statement is just not true for you anyway. I know you keep a hold on everything, grounded with reason, an itinerary, and a plan. This must be the same approach you take to sex this October. You must plan, step by step. 10:04, take clothes off, 10:07, chest kisses. While it’s meticulous, each step ensures a methodical and precise sexual euphoria. Down to the letter, this will ensure nothing but pure satisfaction for this month. While your partner may complain at first at the sight of your planner, they won’t be complaining when they’re left boneless under your hand. Know thyself, Virgo, know thy strengths.

LIBRA, The Scales

Libra, you are so sweet, and so kind. The conflict avoidant in you is one I completely understand, and one I resonate with in my own life. To avoid conflicts this October in a world as sacred as sex, opt for multiples. Threesomes, foursomes, orgies, it doesn’t matter. They are your friends. No conflicts, no arguing, and agreement all the way around. You don’t have to choose between the long list of partners who want you, don’t have You thrive on social harmony, togetherness, and the presence of people in all corners of your life. And what way to enjoy the company of others, than with the feeling of flesh on flesh? The cold winds signal you coming into your tune, so take that tune straight to the bank out. Cash out, Libra. Take home many spoils.

SCORPIO, The Scorpion

This is your time Scorpio!! Ball in your court, sun on the horizon, whatever you want!! This is it. The big one. Your sex life this month should be a schmogisboard. A league of experiences are in your wake, Scorpio. Seductive spooky creatures of any and all kinds prowl your periphery, lurking in the corners waiting to strike when you are ready. Fire on all cylinders this month and indulge in a bedful of beautiful love affairs. Touch and be touched, feel and be felt. Feel the autumnal joy of a shared dark bedroom and the most beautiful sounds humanity can produce.

SAGGITARIUS, The Archer

I recommend celibacy. Complete and total. No need to run out in the morning with your clothes half on if you don’t even enter the playing field. My flighty Saggitarius, you hate to be tied down, hate feeling caged. When things get hard, I know it can be too much, so much so that you need to take flight, leaving a messy trail of bodies behind you. With a celibate October, there is no harm done. No guilt and no shame. This October, you can avoid all shackles and iron bars of long term commitment. Be free and single, my archer. It can teach you a thing or two about yourself.

CAPRICORN, The Goat

The hard worker. The strong Capricorn, a vision in your fields of authority and expertise. The leader and the guide. You should take this month to be a leader in other ways too, an authority in the bedroom. You are in control and deserve to display the power that your careful planning, scheming, and scheduling has led you to! Make them kneel, beg, drool all for you. Make them thank you for everything you do for them. Your recognition is on its way and swiftly in the form of a delighted, submissive partner. Celebrate, Capricorn, and buy some nice expensive leather.

AQUARIUS, The Water Bearer

You strange thing, you fascinate me. Aquarius, you are one difficult thing to pin down. You are just, cool. Weird and cool. And you should be taking that energy straight to the sheets. Get weird this month, try something strange. Put roleplay on the table. Candle wax, some weird bindings, anything! I want to hear crazy stories with wild conclusions, shocking twists and dramatic turns. Your October sex life shall be a 1000 page science fiction novel, rife with strange politics and weird mystical figures. Get mythical, aquarius!

PISCES, The Fish

My sweetheart, my light, pisces. I am horribly fond of you, and all of your softness. You are a trickling stream, and I would do everything in my power to keep you from harm’s way. I tried to avoid any form of bias when writing these, basing it purely off my intuition, but I cannot do it when it comes to you, sweet pisces. You need to spend this month taking things slow and discovering exactly what works for you. Those sweet spots, find each and every pocket of joy, you deserve it. Your kindness to the world should be reflected upon you like a beautiful ocean of pleasure. Those who crave you will be begging for more. Moan this month, and moan as loud as you so choose.