Seventh-Grade Heartbreak

Written by Sammie Lee Wilhoit My heart was sore and ached for days. I spent weeks crying on the couch. When I finally got enough energy, I sat at the piano and wrote a song that sounded like a creaky swing. I missed her green eyes that flickered gold around around her pupil. I missed…

My Drunk Inauguration Speech

Written by Cat Butrick *This entire article was written while I was absolutely smashed. Found it in my notes the next morning when adding food to my grocery list* There’s something enchanting about your first basement party. The smell of cheap vodka and sweaty (almost) post-pubescent bodies. The constant pushing and I’m sorrys. The trashy…

My Emo Farewell Speech (Goodbye Bitches)

Written by Jessica Schultz When I was a first year at Champlain, I idolized my friends who were seniors. They seemed so put-together and cool—they made music, ran Chiv, and seemed like they were never in a rush to do anything. They took me to comedy nights and concerts and made me feel cool as…

On Donald Trump

Starting in January 2017, Donald J. Trump will be the President of the United States. Fuck. On Tuesday night into Wednesday morning, the country watched livestreams and tracked hashtags late into the night, watching Trump win 279 electoral votes to Secretary Hillary Clinton’s 228. A little after 2 in the morning, this long-fought, overexposed, exhausting…